Pikitjeeeeeee

http://www.marcomblog.com/2006/01/15/blogging-for-pr-internships/

2006-01-17T15:58:00.000+01:00

Yes, as an employer I’d recommend all PR students to learn about the impact which blogging etc is having on the media, corporate reputations and the communications industry. One of the best ways to learn is to practice - so set up a blog, record a podcast, read and comment on other blogs, so you learn to mores. It’s not something you can really learn from a book or second-hand.

Stephen secured his internship via his blog - it helped him make connections and gave him a showcase for his thinking. At the moment, that’s a differentiator. Soon it will be a routine checkbox.

The bigger picture though is that since the PR and media industries are changing so much at the moment, there is a massive opportunity for those new to PR to rival the old hands when it comes to navigating these dynamics. None of us can lay claim to lengthy experience in these tools, nor can we confidently claim to know how this will pan out. So students can deliver value at a really early stage in their careers.

So jump in - it’ll help you get a job, build your experience and it might even be fun.

A comparison between Chinese and American use of communication styles with reference to high and low-context culture.

2006-01-17T15:53:00.000+01:00

Introduction

This paper would examine the comparison between Chinese and American culture, based on the hall’s communication pattern of high-context and low-context communication. The verbal and nonverbal communications were the key concepts that we used to compare the two cultures. The literature review contained theories from books and journals; the findings were compared with the present studies about the culture in the case study where some examples of the present Chinese culture were examined.

Hoftsede & Smith (2002: p.41): culture is changing from time to time” The rules are emergent in social interaction, they are forever reinventing and reinterpreting themselves. It only manifests itself through social action that always takes place in a changing context.” Because culture is dynamic, it is important to compare the findings and present the effective conclusions and recommendations to encounter the barriers to communication.

The background of this study was based on the China’s transition from the communist country into a very developed country has brought a huge impact on its young generation. Globalisation and fast track economy has given every Chinese people equal opportunity also changed people’s lifestyles which are more westernized these days. This paper would provide the knowledge about the emergence of language and non-verbal communication in China to give an insight of the low-context Chinese culture and the comparison to the high-context culture such as American culture.

Nixon & Bull (2005) argues that intercultural communication has become more common in recent years with increases in immigration, world travel and international business and the advancement of telecommunication technologies. Obviously there is an increasing need for people to acquire necessary knowledge and skills and appropriate attitudes to achieve successful intercultural communication.

Aims and Objectives

- To investigate the difference between Chinese and North - American communication styles in terms of low-context and high-context culture.

- To outline the barriers of communication that may encounter in the relationships between American and Chinese culture.

- To examine the evolution of the communication style (verbal and non verbal communication) and culture changes in the present days

- To distinguish the aspects of assimilation in order to overcome the barriers of communication through case studies.

Literature Review

Culture

“Every culture has it own world view, its own way of thinking of activity, time and human nature; its own way of perceiving elf and its own system of social organisation.” Jandt, (1998: p.30)

Everybody has different communication styles to express their meaning. One example that differs the Chinese and American culture both verbal and nonverbal communication practices can be seen in the demonstration.

In low-context culture, demonstrations are viewed as the last, most desperate act in a series of escalating events. It is a message a plea, a scream at anguish and anger for the larger society to do something. In china, the Red Guard riots are promulgated from the top of the social order, it is used to produce a show of strength by Mao Tse–Tung; and to give pause to the opposition and shake things up at middle – levels away to mobilize society, not destroying it. It aimed to erase imperialism, corruption and against the bad things, Chinese people had a good perception about the demonstration and did not take demonstrations to seriously. (Hall, 1976: p.94)

In the example above, because of the culture people have different social behaviour and assumption about aggressive verbal and nonverbal communication uses. In this essay, we would talk more about the verbal and nonverbal communication according to Hall’s classic pattern of communication.

High context and low context communication

“A high-context communication or message is one in which most of the information is already in the person, while very little is in the coded, explicitly transmitted part of the message. A low- context communication is just the opposite; i.e., the mass of the information is vested in the explicit code.” Hall (1976)

Hall, (1967) examined the similarities and differences in both perception and communication. He categorised culture as high-context and low-context culture. The assumption that based hall’s theory is:” One of the functions of culture is to provide a highly selective screen between man and the outside world. Culture designates what we pay attention to and what we ignore.” Context can be defined as “the information that surround an event; It is inextricably bound up with the meaning of the event.” (ibid)

Gudykunst et al. (1996:p.32) stated that: “High-context communication is characterised as being indirect, ambiquous, and understated with speakers being reserved and sensitive to listeners. Low-context communication, in contrast, is characterised as being direct, explicit, open, precise, and as being consistent with one’s feelings.”

In high-context culture, people are homogenous, with similar experiences information network and the like. More often found in the traditional culture because the culture has produces consistent message and response to the environment from time to time. Meaning is not necessary contained in words. High-context culture use a lot of non verbal communication, gestures and silence are communication signals that are significant to be considered.

Verbal communication

“Verbal communication (semantics, syntax) conveys content of message oral and written.” Samovar & Porter (2004)

Members of low-context cultures are more concerned with the clarity in conversations (Kim, 1994) and view clarity as necessary for effective communication more than member of high context cultures. Members of low-context culture perceive direct requests as the most effective strategy for accomplishing their goals, while member of high-context cultures perceive direct request the least effective. (Kim & Wilson, 1994)

Samovar and Porter (2004: p.78) stated that “Low-context culture talks more, speaks more rapidly and often raises their voices.” They like to “speak up and “say what’s on their mind. They admire person who has moderately large vocabulary and who can express themselves clearly. In high-context culture, people who rely on verbal communication are perceived as less credible.

Gao & Ting – Toomey (1998, p. 36) studied about Han Xu which implies to Chinese belief about implicit talk. When Chinese vaguely express an idea, an opinion, or a suggestion, they expect their conversational partner to be highly involved and to take an active role in deciphering messages as well as in mutually creating meanings. Young (1994; Gao & Ting - Toomey, 1998) indicated that a Chinese speaker serves the role of guiding rather than dictating a conversation by employing various skills to suggest and to evoke.

Language

Tsuda (1986) argues that language is a significant aspect of a person’s ethnic and cultural identity: “Language should be considered a mirror of its culture. It is a guide to social reality and builds up the real world through the language habits of a group. ”

Kaplan (1966: Zhu, 2003) found that linearity of paragraphing is basically in line with directness, while circularity is seen as relating to indirectness and digression. Some Germanic languages such as German, Dutch, and English tend to be linear, while some Oriental languages such as Korean, Japanese and Chinese tend to be circular.

Kirkpatrick (1993: Zhu, 2003) tried to defined that Chinese language has a progressive from reason for request towards request. He used an example of the interaction between the senior expatriate officer (EO) in a Hong Kong police station. The constable (CPC) wants to request a day's compassionate leave to take his sick mother into hospital.

CPC: Sir

EO: Yes, what is it?

EPC: My mother is not very well sir.

EO: So?

EPC: She has to go into hospital sir.

EO: Well, get on with it. What do you want?

CPC: On Thursday sir.

EO: Bloody hell man, what do you want?

(At this point, the police constable mumbled something like 'Nothing sir' and left the office.)

Kirkpatrick argues that the above rhetorical structure indicates an opposite tendency from English in which a request would normally precede the reason. The above request would be reworded into something like this in English: I am asking for a leave because my mother is sick in hospital. This is an interesting observation that supports Kaplan's circularity of the Chinese discourse patterns. By circularity, Kaplan (1966: Zhu, 2003) refers to the indirect way of coming to a point of argument. Based on this, Kirkpatrick concludes that English discourse tends to arrange arguments from request to reasons for request. The opposite is true of the Chinese who develop from reasons for request to the request, thus revealing a 'because-therefore' structure in Kirkpatrick's terms.

Non Verbal Communication

“Nonverbal communication (visual) conveys framework, context and ‘innuendos’.” Samovar & Porter (2004)

Andersen pointed out that “High-context cultures are more reliant on and tuned in to nonverbal communication.” Information provided through gestures and silence. Gao & Ting-Toomey (1998) stated one expression called Han xu which also explains the importance of nonverbal communication in Chinese culture. Han xu involves a lack of expressiveness that is apparent in everyday life in Chinese. Chinese are socialized not to openly express their personal emotions, especially the strong and negative ones. (Hsu, 1971: Gao &Ting –Toomey, 1998) For instance: love, Chinese rarely verbalise their emotional love, and love is often expressed through caring and helping other. (Potter, 1988) meanwhile American uses “I love you” expression to everybody that they like easily. Therefore unspoken actions, not words are emphasized in Chinese communication.

Han xu also influences how joy and anger are expressed. Chinese person is rarely seen jumping up and down upon receiving a piece of good news. Chinese usually open a gift in private rather than in front of the gift-givers, which can be explained by their face-sensitive concern for not “imposing” or “displaying” their feeling inappropriately.

Face and image is the most important part in the Chinese society

Face is conceptualized as the interaction between the degree of threats or considerations a member offers to another party, and the degree of threats or considerations a member offers to another party and the degree of claim for a sense of self-respect by other party in given situation. (Ting-Toomey, 1988). Member of low-context culture emphasise on self-face maintenance. Meanwhile the high-context culture emphasise on mutual-face and other-face maintenance more, so that face management is influenced by the amount of politeness behaviour. Face is considered as an important thing in China, because it connects to self-reputation. Losing face, saving face and giving face is very important and should be taken into consideration at all times. Losing your temper, confronting someone, putting someone on the spot, arrogant behavior, or failing to accord proper respect can cause a loss of face. In high-context society, Americans use humour as a way to maintain face embarrassing situation.

Furthermore, gesture is widely used also in connection with saving face, for instance; in a conference room usually higher level and important people get the front seat and the VIP seats as a gesture to threat them with more respect.

Eye contact and handshakes are another source of nonverbal communication. According to Eitington (1997: p.217) low-context cultures consider them essential to good communication, but high-context cultures avoid eye contact to signify the deference to authority and respect. Direct eye contact is considered to be rude.

Space is also use to communicate in high-context cultures; they have less physical space between them when communicating than those in low-context cultures. The concept of “‘bubble’ of space” (Hall, 1959: Manfred, 2004) is the space a person moves and in which he or she feels comfortable. Scollon and Scollon (1995) point out Asians in general have a smaller sphere of personal space than westerners. With different expectations of personal space, a Chinese speaking to an American might find that he or she is trying to keep a distance while on the other hand the American might feel that the Chinese is intruding into his or her personal space. This inevitably affects the evaluation of each other and interpretations of interactions.

Case study

The Changing values

Chu & Ju (1993: Jandt, 1998: p.230) speculated that a century ago nearly all the 18 traditional Chinese Confucian values would have received a positive high rating. But the history of Communist Revolution, modernisation and globalisation has changed the way Chinese people think. A survey was conducted in 1993; there were evidences that some values received negatives ratings because of the changing relationship between men and women, the changing attitude about large families and also the changing of harmony and tolerance. (Appendix 1)

Moreover, economy development also changed the Chinese people values, according to BBC (2005); China's economy was 16.8% larger in 2004 than initially calculated. In this case, Ong & Nonini (1997) argued as country has become richer, they also moved toward the individualist end of the spectrum meaning that they would become high context culture. Wealth makes it easier to for people to take care of themselves, to make it on their own.

In results of modernisation and globalisation, American and European investors are developing their business, influencing China with western culture. In 2006, US publication will launch Rolling Stone magazine in China. They focus on China's emerging youth culture as their local content as well as foreign arts and entertainment.

On article about the present Chinese culture McGivering (2005) investigated the changing cultures by examined Wuhan City in China. In the city, young generation (urban youth) consume popular culture which have western influence; like nightclubs, pop music (Karaoke), and working out in the gym instead of spending the time with the families, listening to Chinese classical music, or doing the tai-chi in the park with the elderly people. (Appendix 2)

These new culture influences has a tremendous impact to the society as well. People have become more individualistic and fashioned to consumerism habits. "Before, people lived together in harmony and the neighbours cared for each other. Nowadays, we are separated from each other most of the time. We don't spend a lot of time together." (Fangfang, 2005: McGivering, 2005)

Moreover, Huge popularity of the Internet, fax machines, satellites, and cable TV have swept away cultural boundaries and making English as a common language in the society as well. More Chinese people use English expressions because of the global entertainment spread the western values in Chinese society. Some expressions are used especially in the cyber world, more to the crossbreed of English and Chinese shorthand. The changing phrases were studied by York, (2005) stating that: “The Chinese word for eight is ba, so 88 can be pronounced as ba-ba or bye-bye. Some of the new slang is based on puns and wordplay. Instead of asking, "What?" in a computer message, many use the Chinese character xiami, which means "shrimp as small as rice." Because Xiami sounds a bit like shenme, the Chinese word for "what."

Barriers to communication

Even if Chinese people are moving towards the western culture, Chinese people are still stick to Confucian values, for instance; family, education, high savings, hard work, home ownership, and clean living are the Confucian values that differs Chinese culture with American culture. Meanwhile, American people have their own values which are individualism and freedom of speech.

Jandt (1998: p.68) argued that there were 6 barriers to communication which are anxiety, assuming similarities instead of differences, ethnocentrism, stereotypes and prejudice, nonverbals, and language problems.

Anxiety is the nervous feeling that affects communication when you focus more on your feeling and you do not pay attention to what other people saying. If you are speaking to someone in your second language; you might worry that those people does not understand your meaning or if you make any grammar mistakes or if the other people speak too fast and they use words that you do not understand. For some people anxiety over speaking English properly contributed to avoiding interactions with the U.S. co-workers and limiting interactions both on and off the job to other Chinese only. (ibid)

Furthermore, assuming similarities instead of differences is a natural thing to do if you do not have any background about a culture. Jadnt (1998) argued that this feeling could cause people to ignore the important differences that cultures share in common, so that when you encounter a new culture just assume nothing and ask what the customs are.

Another barrier to communication is ethnocentrism. Ethnocentrism believes in the superiority of one’s own culture, for example, Kristof and WuDunn (1995) Chinese people consider foreigners (White people) as the outsiders who have lower dignity than the local people in China because foreigners sometimes do not speak mandarin and they are not familiar with the customs. The less extreme form of ethnocentrism can be labeled as cultural nearsightedness, or taking one’s own culture for granted and neglecting other cultures. It often results in making assumptions that simple things are the same everywhere. For instance; Based on its 1982 census, China has 87 million people sharing the name Li – the most common surname in the world. “Smith” is shared by 2.4 million people in the United States. These behaviours lead to rejection of the richness and knowledge of other cultures. It excludes other point of view and ethnocentricity orientation is restrictive and limiting.

Moreover, stereotypes and prejudice. Stereotyping is the judgement made about others on the basis of their ethnic group memberships. It can have a negative effect when people start uses them to interpret behaviour. (92) In America Chinese people are associated with the “Model Minority” who achieves success form through hard work perseverance, silent stoicism, strong family ties and strong support for education. Because of this American drew the conclusion that Chinese people are extroverted or not being free thinker which is to narrow and confining.

Meanwhile prejudice refers to the irrational dislike, suspicion, race, religion, or sexual orientation (Rothenberg, 1992: Jandt, 1998: p.74) American perceived China as a poor and dictatorship country, because of the communism in China (influenced by the Marxist –Chinese cultural revolution); China is often linked to the despotism of Chairman Mao, who forced farmer into communes, who isolated the country from outside influences and he also abolished private property (1948-1976).

Communication use both verbal and nonverbal messages during a conversation. If a speaker uses nonverbal codes poorly or inappropriately, a listener may consider the person a poor speaker and sometimes misunderstanding can occur. For instance: to most people in the America, silence means lack of attention and lack of initiative. A person must speak up to participate. In contrast to the Chinese, silence means agreement; you should only talk if you had something important to add. You should always let the other talk first. (ibid)

Languages problems will lead to misunderstanding. According to Bernstein (1997) high context culture is restricted and low context culture is elaborated. Sometimes, talking down to someone is low - contexting him, telling him more than he needs to know. Misunderstanding was most probably compound by their differing communication styles. Language level differences are the trigger to misunderstanding. High context culture are most indirect, they don’t want to show their objectiveness to saves their colleague’s face. Meanwhile they use a lot of body language. The low context culture is more verbally communicated so that it’s more straight forward and comprehensive. Moreover, too many “pleases”, “Thank you”, and “I’m sorry” will be interpreted as sarcasm and coldness to Chinese people. In warm, comfortable close Chinese relationships, these words that are used to make a friendly communication are characteristically missing. People in America really do verbalise everything that they say sometimes when they compliment someone, it will be interpreted as a very serious matter to the Chinese culture, because Chinese culture never compliment people as long as they know that those people are really worth to compliment.

Recommendations

To overcome the barrier of communication between Chinese and American, one must learn and respect the culture. it is important to understand ways of relating in the Chinese culture, one needs to enquire into the interconnected nature of personal relationships and to uncover some of the guiding principles embedded in those relationships such as the way Chinese people communicate in verbal and nonverbal communication.

In order to overcome the anxiety; people need to be confident with speaking in the second language. "Business in China depends heavily on relationships or "guanxi." Most Americans do not make any attempt to learn Chinese, so, when one does, it is appreciated deeply and helps pave the way for developing such relationships.” Benz (1981)

To overcome the Nonverbal communication barrier, American needs to be aware of Chinese people expression. For instance: A Chinese may be so hungry that you can hear his or her stomach rumbling, but if you ask the person, “Have you had dinner?” he or she would answer “yes.” Thus, observing one’s body language and facial expression helps to determine what is on a Chinese person’s mind. (Bo, 1992)

Language differences could be overcome by using intermediaries. “Interactions with strangers often are initiated by a third person who is known to both parties. Intermediaries both formal and informal play a very important role in Chinese personal relationships and also language translation.” Gao & Ting-Toomey (1994)

Jandt (1998: p.67) suggest that American people need to separate their thoughts and their prejudice about Chinese people from their communist party-led government. Chinese citizens are generally pro-United States. It can be seen from the acceptance of U.S icons from KFC, McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, etc. that have popular and growing franchises in Beijing. Furthermore, the pro- United States attitude can be seen on the support from individual Chinese citizens about the Gulf War, which showed respect for U.S political freedom and technological sophistication.

Conclusion

The importance of increasing "cultural awareness" has been emphasised by Brislin and Yoshida (1994: Nixon & Bull, 2005) explained that becoming aware of culture and cultural differences would help people to monitor their ethnocentrism, to respect and be sensitive toward culturally different others, and also to become comfortable with the differences.

In summary, one must understand the certain values and norms that their counterpart holds, for instance the indirect and less open value of high-context society that could lead to conflict in the communication. Conflict has to be dealt discreetly and subtly. A good intercultural communicators use their knowledge to select message behaviour that is appropriate and effective for that context.

References

Books

BO, Y. (1992) The ugly Chinaman and the crisis of Chinese culture. Sydney: Allen & Unwin.

Bernstein (1997) The coming conflict with China.

CHU, G.C. & JU, Y.A. (1993) The Great Wall in ruins: Communication and cultural change in China. Albany: State University of New York Press; in JANDT, F., (1998) Intercultural communication: An introduction, 2^nd edition. London: Sage.

COOPER, J. & HOGG, A. (2003) Sage handbook of social psychology. London: Sage.

EITINGTON, J. (1997) The winning manager. Houston, Texas: Gulf.

GAO, G. & Ting-Toomey, S. (1998) Communication effectively with the Chinese. Thousand Oaks: Sage.

GUDYKUNST, W., TING-TOOMEY, S. & NISHIDA, T., (1996) Communication in personal relationships across culture. London: Sage.

HALL, E.T. (1959) The Silent Language. New York: Doubleday: In MANFRED, W.M.F. (2004) Problems faced by Chinese learner [WWW]. Available from: http://www3.telus.net/linguisticsissues/problemschinese.html (accessed at 1 January 2006)

HALL, E., (1976) Beyond culture. New York: Doubleday

HOFSTEDE, G. & SMITH, D. (2002) Exploring Culture: Exercise, Stories, and Synthetic Culture. Maine: Intercultural Press.

JANDT, F., (1998) Intercultural communication: An introduction, 2^nd edition. London: Sage.

KHASIMA, E.S. & KHASIMA, Y. (1998) Culture and language: The case of cultural dimensions and personal pronoun use. Journal of cross-cultural psychology, 29: 461-486.

KRISTOF, N.D. & WuDunn, S. (1995) China Wakes: The struggle for the soul of rising power. New York: Random House Inc.

ONG, A & NONINI, D (1997) Underground Empires: The cultural politics of modern Chinese transnationalism. New York: Routledge.

ROTHENBERG, P.S. (Ed.). (1992) Race, class, and gender in the United States: An integrated study (2^nd ed.) New York: St. Martin’s: In JANDT, F., (1998) Intercultural communication: An introduction, 2^nd edition. London: Sage.

SAMOVAR, L & PORTER, R. (2004) Communication with stranger. Wadsworth: Thomson.

SCOLLON, R. AND SCOLLON, S. (1995) Intercultural Communication. Oxford: Basil Blackwell

TING-TOOMEY, S. (1988) Intercultural conflict styles: A face-negotiation story: In Y.Y. Kim& W.B. Gudykunst (Eds.) Theories in intercultural communication. Newsbury Park, CA: Sage.

TSUDA, Y., (1986) Language inequality and distortion. Amsterdam: John Benjamins

WANG, M., (2000) Turning bricks into jade critical incidents for mutual understanding among Chinese and Americans. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press

E-Journals & Websites

BBC News, (2005) In pictures: China's new shoppers [WWW]. Available from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/04/asia_pac_china0s_new_shoppers/html/8.stm (accessed at 1 January 2005)

BBC News, (2005) China climbs world economic table [WWW]. Available from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4541220.stm (accessed at 25 December 2005)

BENZ, G. (1981) Recommendations in the intercultural relationships [WWW]. Available from: http://www.germaine.net/recommend.html (accessed at 1 January 2006)

BRISLIN, R. & YOSHIDA, T (1994) Intercultural communication training: An introduction. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. In BULL, P. & NIXON, Y. (2005) The effects of cultural awareness on nonverbal perceptual accuracy. Journal of Intercultural Communication, ISSN 1404-1634, 2005, issue 9. Available from: http://www.immi.se/intercultural/ (accessed at 13 January 2006)

BULL, P. & NIXON, Y. (2005) The effects of cultural awareness on nonverbal perceptual accuracy. Journal of Intercultural Communication, ISSN 1404-1634, 2005, issue 9. Available from: http://www.immi.se/intercultural/ (accessed at 13 January 2006)

KAPLAN, R. B. (1966). 'Cultural Thought Patterns in Inter-Cultural Education', Language Learning 16, 1-20. In ZHU, H. (2003) Revisiting Relevant Approaches for the Study of Language and Intercultural Communication. Journal of Intercultural Communication, ISSN 1404-1634, 2003-2004, issue 6. Available from: http://www.immi.se/intercultural/ (accessed at 13 January 2006)

KIRKPATRICK, A. (1993). Information sequencing in Mandarin in Modern Standard Chinese. PhD Dissertation, Australian National University. In ZHU, Y. (2003) Revisiting Relevant Approaches for the Study of Language and Intercultural Communication. Journal of Intercultural Communication, ISSN 1404-1634, 2003-2004, issue 6. Available from: http://www.immi.se/intercultural/ (accessed at 13 January 2006)

MCGIVERING, J. (2005) Fear for China Cultural Identity [WWW]. Available from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4449156.stm (accessed at 19 December 2005)

YORK, J. (2005) Chinese youth outrage elders with Net lingo [WWW]. Available from: http://www.casperstartribune.net/articles/2005/11/23/news/world/ (accessed at 19 December 2005)

Front cover – PAVEL, M. Collage of many faces [WWW]. GettyImages.com

Available from: http://creative.gettyimages.com/source/classes/FrameSet.aspx?&UQR=aidlrq&pk=4&source=front&lightboxView=1&txtSearch=globalisation%20&selImageType=7&chkLicensed=on&chkRoyaltyFree=on (accessed at 16 January 2006)
Appendix 1

Endorsement and rejection of traditional Chinese values


Traditional Chinese values	Endorsement Index
Long historical heritage	89.7
Diligence and frugality	86.2
Loyalty and devotion to state	67.5
Benevolent father, filial son	48
Generosity and virtues	39.8
Respect for traditions	38.5
Submission to authority	33.2
Preciousness of harmony	29.5
Tolerance, propriety, deference	25.3
Chastity for women	-13.5
Glory to ancestors	-23.8
A house full of sons and grandsons	-35.5
Farmers high, merchants low	-43.3
Pleasing superiors	-48.9
Discretion for self-preservation	-55.9
Differentiation between women and men	-59.2
Way of the Golden mean	-59.6
Three obedience and four virtues	-64
Source: Chu & Ju (1993, p.222).

Cognitive Consistency Approach in Propaganda

2006-01-17T15:49:00.000+01:00

The main principles of persuasion and influence based on the cognitive approach

Persuasion is the way people communicate to influence others’ opinions and actions.

Basically, Larson (2001: p.1) argues that persuasion does not attempt to force people into taking a certain action, but more to move the recipient towards considering taking the action by giving them good logical, emotional and cultural reasons.

Cognition refers to the knowledge and intelligence of understanding and learning. Wagner (2003: p.2) Cognitive psychology defines human behavior as a triadic, dynamic, and reciprocal interaction of personal factors, behavior, and the environment (Bandura: 1986, Stone: 1998) Cognitive psychology has the role with the internal processes involved in making sense on the environment and deciding what action might be appropriate towards the persuasion process (Eysenck & Keane, 2005).

The main sequential stages of cognitive processing. (Groome et al., 2004)

Perception is the analysis of the process to make sense of the info. Perception is recording the input received, attention helps guide processing to important aspects. Hovland et al. (1953: Larson, 2001)) studied a chain of five steps on information processing. The first factor that changed people’s attitude in a persuasive communication is attention; the recipient has to attend to the messages to get persuaded by it, otherwise if they do not put their attention to process the message, they would not be persuaded.

The second part is learning and memory storage, it consists of short term storage and long term storage, it is processing an input to a deep automatic processes (familiarity judgment) and making use of schemas controlled processes (Context recollection) from pass experience. Retention persuades people through their memory; message is remembered and stored so that when the time comes, the memory would be retrieved.

Retrieval process (Mandler, 1980: Larson, 2001)

Familiarity: Automatic effortless involuntary unconscious

Recollection: controlled effortful voluntary conscious

Thinking involves problem solving that moves from problem recognition and then followed by a series of step of solutions and goal state. Thinking also involves decision making that selects one of the presented options and possibilities. It leads inductive reasoning (conclusion based on logical thinking) and deductive reasoning (conclusion based on the available findings).

Jones (1989) studied that through feedback and reciprocity, a person's own reality is formed by the interaction of the environment and one's cognitions. In addition, cognitions change over time as a function of maturation and experience (i.e. attention, span, memory, ability to form symbols, reasoning skills).

Commitment and consistency theory

Cialdini (2001) argues that people has the desire to remain consistent with what they have chosen. Once they are committed to value, they would convince themselves that they have made the right decision.

According to Freedman & Fraser (1966: Cialdini, 2001: p.67) people remain consistent when they are committed with something. Once he has agreed to the request (in this case “DRIVE CAREFULLY”), People may feel that they are changed because they are involved with good causes or taking action in things he believes in.

People who do not have a consistent belief, words, and deeds are identified as confused and two-faced in many cultures. In one of the Indonesian proverb, a person who does not have a firm conviction is perceived “As if water on talas leaf. “

Cognitive consistency principle has the power to direct human action. Even in the situations where it is not sensible way to be, we would automatically remain consistent and produce the same responds because we want to save our time and does not want to confront any contradiction issue to other. “We need only believe, say, or do whatever is consistent with our earlier decision.” Cialdini, (2001: p.55)

Moreover, cognitive consistency theory has the power to influence people to agree with one topic so that they would escape from troublesome consequences of thought or regret. For instance, people are willing to pay a lot of money for going to the gym, they perceived that when they join and pay for the gym they would be healthier, without even thinking what they should do in the gym and how much effort should they put practicing in the gym.

Moreover, cognitive consistency would influence people automatically to fulfil their request even if they have actually substituted the product with something else. For instance, Cialdini (2001) states about his experience in a toyshop, he wanted to buy the Robot for his son, but it was sold out in the Christmas time and he bought other toys as the substitute. But the in the new year the Robot are displayed in the shop, because he promised and committed to his son request, he bought the Robot even if the son has already received his Christmas present.

When the persuaders use this tactic, the recipient would experience tension that falls to cognitive balance, cognitive congruity and cognitive dissonance process.

Cognitive balance

Heider (1958: Larson, 2001) argued that balance theory is based on the simplest form of human communication; one person communicating with another about single topic. The whole idea of Heider’s theory is when person experience a psychological tension, he would try to create balance.

Thus, a balanced state is obtained when, for instance, P likes O, P likes X, and O likes X; or when P likes O, P dislikes X, and O dislikes X; or when P dislikes O, P likes X, and O dislikes X. (Zajonc, 1971)

Heider (1958: Hill, 2005) argues that change most likely to happen in weaker link/ relationship. When people do not have a close relationship with someone, they tend to be more compromise and tolerate others opinion.

Cialdini (2001) argues that once people make a choice or take a stand, they would encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment. To create balanced situation the persuaders strengthen their receiver minds by telling the receiver what they have already known in their mind.

Newcomb’s symmetry theory (1951: Mansted, 1996) is also based on maintaining balance. He argues that people tend to agreed on many things with people that they attracted to and the one they share the same interest (liking).

Furthermore, Osgood and Tannenbaum (1955: Stone, 1998) focus on the measurement of like and dislike degree to predict the direction of change. It concerns about people who experience complex condition is more likely to change their attitudes and have the similar opinion with the one which they have the least amount of similarity. Conflicts and rejections might arise in the inconsistencies message when you hold certain belief and when other people hold different position. In order to create balance, when the sender wants to change the belief of the receiver persuader just speak up their view to shake the receiver’s mind and create imbalance and dissonance. The receiver who always seeks out psychological equilibrium would identify what put them into the imbalance state and then try to create balance by compromising, so that minor tensions and inconsistencies will be reduced by self-persuasion and changing beliefs.

Hogg (1998: p.99) argues that cognitive balance has social impact theory which stimulate to potential grouping. For instance, increase conformity, group belongingness, and cohesiveness. Group size also impact the level of consistency in the group itself, so that the larger the group the greater the group impact and the closer the group in space and time the impact of consistency are greater as well.

For instance, the concepts of balance, symmetry, and congruity can be seen in the way of American society changes their perception and belief.

“Many people do not wholly agree with a solely Democrat or Republican stance, but in American society, the majority tend to side with one or the other. Balance theory suggests that these people tend to focus more on the issues with which they are concerned and push those with which they disagree to the periphery.” (Woods, 2001)

The three theories state that humans attempt to create a cognitive balance that they believe to be rational and consistency as the central of motivation of behaviour. Furthermore, an individual’s attitude toward an object or person is influenced by object or other person, and in order to achieve balance, people will generally change their attitude towards the person or object with which they feel the most reinforcement. (Woods, 2001)

Applications of cognitive balance, commitment and consistency theory

We analyse the way persuader used cognitive balance in the health and security presentation to the employee of Flower world.

P – Alan Barber – Health and security expert

O – Flower World employee

X – Terrorism must be prevented

He talked about terrorism ideas and he tried to give the idea of terrorism by defining the important role of every employee in the flower world in order to prevent terrorism. The persuaders used a good argument, he used a lot of pictures of terrorism acts to create emotional feeling in the receivers’ mind, he did not talk too specific about certain religious to prevent stereotyping and it would offend the employee from Afghanistan.

The receivers felt committed to protect their own lives, their workplace and many people’s lives that could get infected by the flower virus.

Because the receivers were from different kind of nationality and religion (Afghanistan, Nepal, India, Poland), the persuaders tried to create balance and consistent message by using terrorism acts from many countries so that at least people would feel that they have bond with the other people who got affected by the terrorism acts (for instance: in Russia, Afghanistan, Israel, etc). By recalling this terrorist acts in the employees’ mind, it would create balance and consistent message in employees’ mind that terrorist act is bad. When the employees committed in preventing the terrorism acts in the World Flower Factory, they felt that they have maintained balance in the society where they are working.

Cognitive dissonance

The idea of Festinger’s theory (1957) is when people experience a psychological tension; they would try to reduce it by relating the differences to pass experiences and belief to create an agreement in their selves. Differences or dissonance might exist, if people talk about sensitive messages and there are two non-fitting pieces of knowledge about the world, for instance; topic about war, abortion, religion, etc. If you dislike a person and you dislike their views, what they say is unlikely to say something seemingly out of character or fails to accord with expectation or their image. When they hear something that they dislike, they would start using defensive communication. The reactions vary from not concentrating on messages to deliberately misinterpreting or misunderstanding the sender’s motive as well as his/her message. (Hill & Watson, 2004: p.61)

Larson (2001) states five sources of dissonance in the society. The first one is loss of group prestige. The loss of the America’s prestige can be reflected on the scandal of President Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky that was revealed in the whole nation. Member of concerned institution moved quickly to reduce the dissonance by using humour, apologies and explanation to the public.

Economic loss also creates dissonance, because when economic values are in danger, people feel psychological dissonance and insecurity. They try to reduce it by supporting the politicians who promise them the economy stability.

Loss of personal prestige is the source of dissonance. When people are losing respect of themselves and from other. When people are getting fatter or older, they try to reduce the dissonance or the bad feeling of themselves by consuming more vitamins and dieting.

Furthermore, uncertainty prediction concludes that people are unable to predict their future. To reduce it they would try to protect themselves from the negative circumstance of the future, by going back to school, by buying insurance, or start investing on houses, etc.

Finally guilt, people would urged to avoid guilt by having enough medicine on hand before their kids start coughing which will caused dissonance if you do not have enough medicine.

Strategies to reduce the dissonance

Perloff (2002) argues that dissonance is psychologically uncomfortable, psychologically arousing and drives individuals to reduce it. Cooper et al. (2005) examine how people used some reasons to reduce the dissonance. First strategy is, Induce compliance is when a person obey a request that is contrary to his/her attitude, for example, someone may tell his romantic partner how much he enjoyed the ballet when, in fact, he could barely keep his eyes open during the performance. People try to reduce the dissonance by bring them more in line with the content of their statement.

Reason to reduce dissonance also occurs when people choose an option. When they decided to choose something, they would start to think about the pro and contra and some negative elements about their choice. To reduce the dissonance they would change one of their cognition and start thinking that their choice is better and the rejected options are worse than they thought before.

When a lot of effort was put on an object, justifying effort is a reason to reduce the dissonance. Cooper et al (2005: P.69) states if people endure a strenuous interview process to get a job, they may reduce their dissonance by liking the job more.

Applications in advertisements

Advertisers use cognitive dissonance to change beliefs, to engage people to invest their time, attention and participation to create dissonance cognition and then provide simple and immediate participation to create dissonant cognitions. (Lidwell, 2003:p.36) Dissonance makes people question their original thoughts by using a bombardment of messages to create dissonance, ultimately work in automatic level that stimulate the consumption of products to restrain such dissonance.

For example, stop smoking campaign used dissonance to inform the smokers that smoking kills. Smoker would hold two cognitions that were discrepant: “I believe that smoking kills and dangerous.” and “I smoke two packs of Marlboro everyday and it helps me to relax.” Advertisement use cognitive dissonance to confront people on what they do not have in the society and it is imbalance. When it grabs people attention, it automatically persuades people’s mind and resistance process work in the mind to reduce the dissonance.

Cooper et al. (2005: p.65) studies that people would reduce their inconsistency by changing one of their cognition, adding cognition or reducing the importance of their cognition.

If the smokers decided to add cognition, they could have remembered all the times that he was healthy and thought, “I’m healthy and I don’t need any cigarette to make me relax.” Alternatively, smokers would reduce the dissonance by reduced the importance of one of his inconsistent cognitions. For instance, “Whether I’m dying tonight or tomorrow does not really matter to me as long as I can enjoy my cigarettes and relax.” Moreover, according to Cooper et al. (2005: p.66) smokers would change their cognition that has the smallest amount of resistant to change by thinking that it was okay to be smoker because a lot of people are smoking as well and it is a cool thing to do.

The way cognitive approach techniques are used by the American government and the media in the Gulf War media coverage

The power of Gulf War coverage to maintain balance and consistency

Hill & Watson (2005) studies that propaganda spins the information in another direction away from the truth so that the media broadcast fixed ideas and goals of the government to create a favourable impression in the public minds.

Figure 1.2: The cognitive response approach to persuasion (Perloff, 1993: p.109)

Based on the figure above, the persuaders (president, media, press officer, lobbyist, etc in the political communication) use their charisma, good argument in spinning the message and use mass media to deliver message. The flow of information also plays an important role in shaping public minds. Barsamian & Chomsky (2001) argues that media is a major basis for acquiring our knowledge about the world. The cognitive approach plays an important role to mass communication because it emphasize on the way that our minds create knowledge – about the world based on our experience with the media. This knowledge or mental reality is the basic idea of attitudes and behaviour that shapes our lives.

Society would react with different responses according to their political point of view. The democrat would confront and ban the war which create dissonance (will be discussed in the cognitive dissonance analysis). Meanwhile, the republican would support the president and the government choice. Even if the public know that the government is in the war with Iraq and dying people are everywhere, they still support the government because they believe in government.

Some persuasion techniques were used to strengthen public’s opinions. Consistent and repetitive messages were used through the speeches, news coverage and mass media to keep on telling the public what they have already known in their mind, thus it would create balance and produced positive attitude towards the Gulf War. Cialdini (2001) argues that when public are secured with their initial commitment when they support republican, it would be easy for the government induce people so that they are willing to take an initial position that is consistent with the behaviour they will later request from the public.

Cognitive congruity persuasion theory is described when people identify what they have in common with those around them and subsequently anticipate the dominant tendency. (Newcomb’s symmetry theory, 1953) For instance: The credibility and charisma of the source or ethos ( Aristotle’s theory of persuasion – all person are perceived in some way by the audiences) is significant in the persuasion communication., if the persuaders has high reputation and charisma he would be able to shift quality depending on circumstantial factors as well as on sincerity expertise and power. In America, George W Bush is the president of United States, who is credible, honest and powerful leader, so that people would believe in his policies and his decisions.

People who believe in President Bush and his government would maintain their commitment and has the same perception about the Gulf War.

Cognitive dissonance: Influences techniques to create dissonance and the resistances about Gulf War.

Negative publications and confrontations are used against the American Government and Bush policies about war in Iraq, for instance; controversial publications from independent film makers (Michael Moore’s Farenheit 9/11); from unilateral journalists that produces the news in the independent mass media; controversial scandals of torture to the Iraqi prisoners in Abu Ghraib prison, Baghdad; the issue of non-existence weapon of mass distraction, the sensational Al-Jazeera TV station that shows how U.S troops killing the women and children. These dissonances ask the public to question why they supported the Gulf War and American government.

Complexity of ideas and propaganda brought confusion and difference in their minds which they would try to reduce them to create consonant or agreement or balance in their mind. There were two cognitions in public minds: “Gulf War is totally wrong because a lot of people died.” And the second one “America is trying to free the Iraqi people.”

Some of the public who have democrat point of view experienced inconsistent state; they banned the war by making sure that Bush was not getting re-elected again, Singers use their songs to criticise the war e.g. Madonna in “American lives”, Greenday in “ American Idiot”, etc. On the other hand, some other tried to reduce the dissonance.

Festinger (1957) defines two ways people reduce them. First, they would change the dissonant cognition by moving their belief closer to one another by trusting the authority and the military because in their mind war is wrong but there will always victims and casualties to be scarified in the war.

The other would start rationalise the problem away by discrediting the source of cognition by saying that they are inaccurate and unreliable. Like what happened to the people who discredits Michael Moore films as inaccurate and unreliable source.

Meanwhile, other try to escape the dissonance by forgetting the fact that other people are dying in Iraq. When people in other part of the world watch the news, they feel sympathy for the people who died in the war. But then afterwards they would switch the TV off, continue with their dinner, and forget about it.

“I think if people see this footage, they'll say Oh, my God, that's horrible. And then they'll go on eating their dinners. There will be no rescue, no intervention for us. We can only save ourselves. Many of you know influential people abroad, you must call these people. You must tell them what will happen to us... say goodbye. But when you say goodbye, say it as if you are reaching through the phone and holding their hand. Let them know that if they let go of that hand, you will die. We must shame them into sending help.” Paul Rusesabagina (Hotel Rwanda, 2004)

References

Books

BARSAMIAN, D. & CHOMSKY, N. (2001) Propaganda and the public mind: Conversations with Noam Chomsky. London: Pluto Press

BUTLER, J., HOLDEN, K. & LIDWELL, W. (2003) Universal principle of design: A cross- disciplinary reference. Glocester: Rockport.

COOPER, J., MIRABILE, R. & SCHER, J.S. (2005) Persuasion: Psychological insights and perspectives (2^nd Ed^\), Edited by BROCK, T.C. & GREEN, M.C. Thousand Oaks, London, New Delhi: Sage.

CIALDINI, R.B. (2001) Influence: Science and practice (4^th Ed). London: Allyn & Bacon.

CHRISTIAN, C. & REAL, M. (1979) Jacques Ellul’s contributions to critical media theory. Journal of communication, 29, 83-93: In LARSON, C.U. (2001) Persuasion, Reception and Responsibility (9^th Ed). London: Wadsworth/ Thompson Learning.

ELLIS, A.W. & YOUNG, A.W. (1996) Human cognitive neuropsychology: A textbook with reading. London: Lawrence Erlbaum associates: In GROOME, D et al. (2004) An introduction to cognitive psychology processed and disorder (5^th Ed). Hove and New York: Psychology press.

FREEDMAN, J.L. & FRASER, S.C. (1966) Compliance without pressure: The foot-in the door technique. Journal of personality and social psychology, 4, 195-203: In CIALDINI, R.B. (2001) Influence: Science and practice (4^th Ed). London: Allyn & Bacon.

GROOME, D et al. (2004) An introduction to cognitive psychology processed and disorder (5^th Ed). Hove and New York: Psychology press.

HARRIS, R.J. (1999) A cognitive psychology of Mass Communication (3^rd Ed). Mahwah: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

HEIDER, F. (1958) The psychology form of interpersonal relations. New York: Wiley: In LARSON, C.U. (2001) Persuasion, Reception and Responsibility (9^th Ed). London: Wadsworth/ Thompson Learning.

HILL, A. & WATSON, J. (2003) Dictionary of media and communication studies (6^th Ed). London: Arnold.

HOGG, M.A. (1998) Social identification (5^th Ed). London: Routledge.

LARSON, C.U. (2001) Persuasion, Reception and Responsibility (9^th Ed). London: Wadsworth/ Thompson Learning.

NEWCOMB, T.M. (1951) in MANSTED, A.S.R. (1996) The Blackwell encyclopaedia of psychology. Oxford: Blackwell.

RANK, H. (1976) Teaching about public persuasion. IL: National council of teachers of English: In LARSON, C.U. (2001) Persuasion, Reception and Responsibility (9^th Ed). London: Wadsworth/ Thompson Learning.

RICHARD, M. & PERLOFF, R. (2002) The Dynamics of Persuasion: Communication and Attitudes in the 21st Century. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum

E-Journals and Websites

BANDURA, A. (1986) Social Foundations of Thought and Action: A Social Cognitive Theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall: In STONE, D (1998) Social Cognitive theory [WWW]. Available from: http://hsc.usf.edu/~kmbrown/Social_Cognitive_Theory_Overview.htm (accessed at 6 January 2006)

FRASE, J. (2003) Cognitive dissonance. [WWW] Available at: http://oak.cats.ohiou.edu/~ep380697/cd.htm (accessed at 1 January 2006)

OSGOOD & TANNENBAUM (1955) in STONE, D (1998) Social Cognitive theory. [WWW] Available from: http://hsc.usf.edu/~kmbrown/Social_Cognitive_Theory_Overview.htm (accessed at 6 January 2006)

ROBINSON, P. (2001) Theorizing the influence of media on world politics: Models of media influence on foreign policy. European Journal of Communication. London, Thousand Oaks, CA and New Delhi: Sage, Vol 16(4): 523–544.

[0267–3231(200112)16:4;523–544;020063]

SIMON, S. (2004) “Gonzo Demagoguery” Writ Large. Wall Street Journal. July 27, 2004: In Rhoads, K. (2004) Propaganda Tactics and Fahrenheit 9/11 [WWW]. Available from: www.workingpsychology.com (Accessed at 12 January 2006)

STONE, D (1998) Social Cognitive theory. [WWW] Available from: http://hsc.usf.edu/~kmbrown/Social_Cognitive_Theory_Overview.htm (accessed at 6 January 2006)

WOODS, R. (2001) Cognitive Consistency. [WWW] Available from: http://www.ciadvertising.org/sa/spring_03/382j/aclaire/Advertising.html (accessed at 1 January 2006

ZAJONC, B. (1971) The Concepts of balance, congruity, and dissonance," in Attitude Change P. Suedfeld, ed. Chicago,Ill: Aldine, Atherton, Inc: In Heider’s balance theory [WWW]. Available from: http://www.ciadvertising.org/studies/student/97_fall/theory/cognitive_coc/balance.htm (accessed at 12 January 2006)

2005-05-21T01:46:00.000+02:00

Akhirnyaa sekolah pun selesai..

"Waktunya santaai....", kata si Vicky

Cuman di sini santai engga ada yang bisa dikerjain euy..!!

NO money.. NO good friends around... NO NO NO..

yang ada cuman Tintin, Novel, and a very comfy bed..

So all that I do every day ..
is wake up in the afternoon..
Browsing and chatting in the internet..
Breakfast..
take a shower..
Then... I usually go for a walk to the supermarket to buy something to eat for dinner..
or sometimes I go to the library
or I just go walking around
then I come back at home
having dinner..
and take a nap.. usually at 8 pm till 10 pm but sometimes I can sleep til 11.30 just like tonight..
then I go browsing in the Internet and..

Watch something downloadable from DC++ the hall network where we exchange movies and music.

Then at 4 in the morning I go to sleep..

I say it is better than my other routinity.. but I guess...just sleep too much.. way too much...

I don't feel okay... I get stomach ache everytime I wake up from my nap...

Hihihihi..

That's the price I pay for being such a laZy girl..

but heey.. I have to gather my energy back....

Mai Fairy Tail..

2005-04-21T19:25:00.000+02:00

One upon a time, there is a little girl called Vicky. She lives with her family in a tiny house with two turtles and five birds. The turtles belong to her; the birds belong to her Grandpa. Vicky is a lonely little girl; both of her parents are usually working late, her brother is too young to play with her so she spends most of her time playing alone and sometimes helping grandma water the garden.

There is actually one girl in the neighborhood, but she doesn’t always play with Vicky because she is busy with her school.

“I am so sorry Vicky; I have to study for my test tomorrow.” Says Mida.

Vicky says, “That’s okay, Mida… I know you are very busy studying. Oow...I can’t wait to go to school; I would meet a lot of friends.”

When she come back home, she ask her grandma. “Nanny, when am I going to go to school? I can’t wait to meet a lot of friends so I can play with them…”

“Next year my dear… next year… you have to be patient.” says nanny.

A few weeks later, nanny comes home with a lot of presents for Vicky. She bought Vicky a new bag, some new books, stationary and a pair of shoes.

“Vicky, I have a surprise for you. Tomorrow you will start your school. You will meet a lot of friends and plays with them. You will go to Indra’s playgroup where they prepare you for you kindergarten.”

When Vicky hears about it, she is very happy. No more lonely days for her; just happy days with a lot of friends.

Just another Chessy journal of mine...

2005-04-16T02:10:00.000+02:00

Sometimes I realize when I smell something weird, something that make me goes to another part of myself accidentally, where memories, images and feelings were there. It feels so good; I would always love the moment when I remember all of those things.

Listening to “Keane” (I know it’s too Cheesy) reminds me to the summer time when I was in Indonesia, I listened to the album everywhere, everyday, and every time I could. My driver said he would certainly go crazy if I kept listening to the songs in the car with him… He He…

About the smell, the aftershave that boys use usually reminded me to my dad’s smell. It’s so strong and very nice… When boys try to appeal their masculinity smells it really remind me to my dad’s figure, don’t know why but I always miss my dad… Another thing is, every time I smell terasi, I would always take a deep breath then I close my eyes trying to imagine the Sambel Terasi at my home…

Oh yeah, one more thing ; when I am sitting and eating in the Chinese restaurant everywhere…..all that I can remember is Dim Sum Palace…with Rainbow, Maarten, Tata, Sasa, Ian, Sigit, Barry (All the people who’s addicted to Dim Sum palace in Leidseplein). Well, it’s newly opened and I have been eating there 1 or 2 times free no charge, because of Rainbow (God Bless Her) also It has normal price, so it’s affordable for student… the food are splendid… I remember when my cousin visited me and we ate whole bunch of Dim Sum, because he hadn’t seen any Chinese food for like 2 weeks and my problem was and still is ‘I know the art of Eating‘(That’s what Ian said) … ^.^

Well I certainly miss my life before and it’s quite hard to imagine everything in my head (It’s not that my brain is tiny, or something). Sometimes I feel like I waste my time letting everything goes by without even taking any pictures of it. But then I realize writing might be more like me than capturing everything through the camera… I can write and describe everything about what I feel and how I see things from time to time.

I Quit Smoking…

2005-04-15T03:40:00.000+02:00

If people Asked me why I smoked?

Basically I hate the idea of breathing passively the cigarette’s smoke, it feels like hell… To avoid that I had the solutions, I started smoking when people smoked in front of me, but then I became addicted to Cigarette…I’ve tried to stop several years ago (Never really tried) so the attempts didn’t really works… Ha Ha.. In Indonesia, some of my friends and my Ex-boyfriends were smoking so instead of killing myself with the smoke, I decided to darker my lungs by blowing the bud myself.

Anyhow, then I moved to Amsterdam, the whole school is smoking; no one doesn’t smoke in Amsterdam… It’s the culture, so then I became addicted to smoke. When the whole environment does something, I couldn’t really resist the temptations. It seemed that there were no differences if you are smoking or not, ^. ^ So better enjoy the cigarette than breathing passively.

If people Asked me why I quit smoking?

In Southampton, people don’t really smoke and the cigarette is pretty expensive here, well the English cigarettes are pretty cheap but they taste just like the Dark tea taste... So bitter and I almost threw up one time I tried them. Another thing is, I don’t really see why I should smoke anymore, I’ve been a social smoker for like a few years and some part of me enjoy it, some part of me reject the idea of smoking, also no one smoke in front of my face anymore and about one month ago, I decided to quit and I realized that was the perfect time to stop smoking and it works at least until now, apart from the English Cigarette I tried last week (it’s only a tester).

If people Asked me whether I am ever gonna smoke again?

Well, I am not gonna promise myself that I would totally quit, I would allow myself to smoke in some particular situations because when you are stress and you smoke, you can exhale and inhale so hardly, it feels like releasing your troubles out of your brain and heart for about 5 minutes (per 1 Cigarette) and it helps really.

One Good Tip...

2005-04-11T17:07:00.000+02:00

Angie said, "In order to be a good writer, you have to keep a journal."

No matter what kind of a writer you're interested in.... whether you are going to write a novel or become a journalist or Editor or become another thing that involves writing skill...

Keeping a journal is an effective way to improve your skill, learn to create different kind of angle and structure.

liburan telah tiba

2005-03-23T18:51:00.000+01:00

Not so much to do on the holiday; only play Wario Ware and chat with a lot of people from Indonesia and the Netherlands, miss them so much (Rainbow, Bulan, Intan, Qoloor, Ceppy, and dink2).
A few days ago my ex bf called me with his angry tone from Indonesia. (In the middle of the night, while I was about to watch the “Whale Rider” with my Ian; Cool Movie anyway, I cried a lot) He told me that my best friend (My ex. Best friend:A**e), she told his girlfriend that last summer, me and him were going out in Surabaya.

Well, it was true, but at that time he said that he was having a break with her and we were still a good friend also… my boyfriend was fine with it. So basically it was really not my fault. Grrrr…what I don’t understand is how she could tell her about all the stuff. I know that she (My ex. Bestfriend:A**e) like to talk a lot (Typically person who has big mouth and tiny brain) and she is desperately want to be friends with all the popular people everywhere, she use all the tricks to get their heart, well if she doesn't talk about me, I am fine with it.. ^^

But that what she did, she thought that I wouldn’t even hear about it because I'm so far away.

Too bad…I heard it, and it’s very not cool… you Bitch….!!

Enough about her.. it feels so good to write it down really...

Anyway let me go back to my happy holiday...

I miss my noisy corridor; it feels so creepy when people going on holiday and nobody left in the building except me and some other Chinese people. Huaaah… living here is so spooky in Easter break.

Well not all part of the holiday sucks, I am waiting for our long weekend in London next week, I know it’s gonna be fun… We are going to watch Lion King the musicals and eat a lot of Japanese food and Malaysian food, it’s going to be great for sure.

Happy Easter Everybody...

This is Easter and I Forgive you my little friend... ^^

I understand you and your position.. I understand your need... just let me get back to the beautiful time with you...

From Rainbow to Vicky

2005-03-20T00:35:00.000+01:00

Saturday, March 19, 2005

hey dear.... how are you doing out there? i miss miss missmiss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss you so so so so so much... seriouly...no one to hangout with. no one to chill out with..no one to gossip with, no one to drinking with,no one to chat with,. >.<>.<. >.< me =".=">...<>.<... life just like a bitch >.<>.< say =".=">

2 My BeSt fRiEnd iN NL -- cUtE vICkY (i Miss =.= U)
hey dear.... how are you doing out there? i miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss you so so so so so much... seriouly...no one to hangout with. no one to chill out with.. no one to gossip with, no one to drinking with, no one to chat with,. >.<>.<. >.< me =".=">.<>..<>.<... life just like a bitch sorry sorry sorry....anyway,,, thats all i want say =.=....take good care and all the best in UK, kisses and hugs from the best restaurant in NL - Kouwenoord 803 (VIP Room);cheersUr tje tje...

kalo ga diakui anak sama bapak sendiri

2005-03-17T01:53:00.000+01:00

Perasaan pertama: Sakit ati... (Pasti)

Pemikiran kedua: Bertanya tanya.. "Tega nya tega nya tega nya...."Sementara kita berkoar-koar Siapa kah bapak kita ke temen2....

Conclusion ketiga: Apa gara2 kita malu malu-in ya...

Pemikiran keempat: Atau emang kita engga pantes dipanggil anak....

Perasaan kelima: Sudah mulai Mencerna dan berpikir mungkin bapak masih belom siap jadi Bapak dan disebut Bapak oleh orang laen...

Conclusion keenam: Atau mungkin Bapak masih ingin dipanggil mas....sama yang laen laen...

Akhirnya:

Menerima dan Pasrah, Nama nya juga BAPAK!!!

everyday activity review

2005-03-10T03:21:00.000+01:00

Bangun Pagi ato Siang...
Mandiii.....siap siap...makan pagi..
Ke sekolaaaa ada kelass terus...ke library...
Tak lupa ke Asdaa memburu Smart price products...
GO hoome...
prepare the dinner...mencobaa berbagai macam resep-resep indonesia...
Say hi to my neighbor..meet my boyfriend....we have our dinner...
talk a little bit with him...act a lot..^^
He goes home..I go back to my comp and internet....
chat with my friends, play online games, eat snacks (I am noow sooo fat and so very chubby) and then put a lot of lotions to my body
stay awake till 3 am.. just like now...
Go to bed.... trying to sleep.....Insomnia kills me....
5 am...fall asleep...
go back to bangun pagi....

so....itu semuaaaa nya....everyday stays the same...

I really hate routinity (hope I spell it correctly), but there is nothing much, Southampton offers and I know I have to cope with it.

Damn Hard...

better...

2005-03-03T18:04:00.000+01:00

well, I can say my relationship with my mom is getting better and better these days...
dulu....kalo mau ngomong something buntutnya jadi teriak-teriak and never had a nice ending...now I know..one of us has to grow up, I can't change my mom, it's her nature to be bossy all the time and everybody has to obey her words.. so yeah..I try to change my tactics... I try not to get too emotional when I try to explain something to her, always try to make her understand and if it is not possible, I just call my dad and ask him talk to my mom so I don't have to get to deeper annoying conversation and it works.... our relationship is better, no more fight and hurting each other feeling, what we have now just an ordinary relationship of mother and daughter... Since I live far away from her , I miss her so much and I know there is no point to raising each other voice. And guess what I feel better and I know I've grown up.

^^

I Conquered My Temptation!!

2005-02-28T01:15:00.000+01:00

Last night I dreamed about a family gathering, I was about leaving high school and still getting a low pocket money from my mom. I remember it was 15 euro a month which was not enough at all. But what emphasized more in the dream was the horror face of my mom when I told her it was never going to be enough with 15 Euro money pocket when I get to university which she really had to increase it. By the way, who can survive with 15 euro money pocket per month?

Then, suddenly she reminded me with her angry face, in fact that I got some money also from my dad and my grandpa, which quite a lot.

In this dream my reaction was shut my mouth up and changed the settings straight away, unfortunately I got to a worse dream.

I went to a shop with my grandma, I realized I saw a bag similar to the one I saw in UK, It was 170 quid before and in Indonesia they sell it only for 70 Euro. When I saw something and I really like it, no matter how much is it, I will certainly buy it and in Indonesia the price was a lot cheaper. I went straight away to the sales and tried to bargain with her. I knew that I could always bargain until it is 300 % percent lower in Indonesian market, I told her I wanted it to be only for 20 Euro, but she insisted to be 50 Euro. Then, I realize that there were holes in the bottom of the bag, I told her it is not fair to sell it for 50 Euro. As a good sales girl, she knows that I really like the bag and no matter how expensive it is, even there are holes there, she would sell it high to me.

She says,” It’s up to you, if you want to buy it, it is 50 euro!”

Well I didn’t say anything; I knew it was stupid to bargain for a bag that had holes in it, also I related this dream with one dream before, that I have got no enough money to support myself. So, I just gave her the bag and walked away.

Basically, two of these dreams are related to each other, even if the time settings are different. If I related to my life now, it is because I have enough money to help myself out, but not for shopping, I love branded bag and fashion, which I conclude as a bad hobby that I have been trying to stop. Unconsciously in my head, I wanted to ask my parents more money so that I can spend it for shopping. On the other hand, back in the Netherlands and in UK, I have been trying to control my expenses so that I can spend it wisely, not like before, when I used to run overdraft and dying to get some money from my parent. Well, the technique has worked well and I passed the test in my dream. I could control myself by giving the bag back to the sales girl which was totally beautiful but had a lot of holes in it.

P.s. For people who are really close to their mother, I know it sounds stupid to be afraid to ask something to your mom. But for me, I am scared to my mom. Especially, when I want something from her, it is just scary. Even if I have been living far a way from her for almost 2 years, I can still imagine her face and predict her emotion, if I want to make an announcement.

Yang masih harus dicapai...

2005-02-25T23:32:00.000+01:00

Pertama....

Lulus dengan 120 Ects, biar bisa transfer ke Southampton !! ^^ First aim...

Kedua...

Hmmm... Motivate myself more to do the homework...

Ketiga...

Cari temen yang banyaak.. bukan ndekem di rumaa nonton Film and internetan....

Keempat....

bisa dapet placement di tempat yang diinginkaan..^^ (Singapore)

Kelima...

Jalan-jalan keliling dunia ....wuhuuu

Keenam...

Taste the best food in the world!!!

bersambung...

Yang sudah tercapai....

2005-02-25T23:28:00.000+01:00

Pertama-tama.....

Keuangan-- skrg udah ga boros lagi..!! Amin...

Kedua...

Bisa Exchange -- menandakan ternyata aku ga lemot 2X amat...

Ketiga...

Bisa Setaunan ama Ian -- menandakan Vicky sudah lebih dewasa dan serius....^^

Keempat...

Lebih percaya diri

Kelima...

better time management

bersambung....

Guidelines for better sleep

2005-02-24T02:08:00.000+01:00

The best way to tackle insomnia is by natural means, here summarized as 10 simple rules.

Clear your mind of all the anxieties and thoughts of the day. Avoid feeling of anger or resentment, which can be more potent than anxiety to maintaining wakefulness.

Don’t read an exciting book or watch a thrilling film before bedtime. Excitement is another obstacle to sleep.

Tell yourself frequently during the day, and again last thing at night, that you will relax in mind and body, go to sleep quickly, and sleep right trough the morning.

Make the bedroom a pleasant place, softly-lit, quiet, and comfortable.

Follow the natural human sleep pattern by retiring early and waking early.

Unwind physically. Progressively relax your body, tensing and then releasing each group of muscles from the toes to the head. Alternatively, meditate for at least fifteen minutes before retiring.

Avoid nicotine and caffeine for at least an hour before bedtime – they both harm sleep. In small amounts alcohol, which is a depressant, can help you get to sleep, but it is better not to rely on it.

Try hot milk and honey or a malted milk drink as a soothing bedtime beverage.

Repeat a shooting formula – such as “I am drifting off to sleep” – before sleep and if you wake during the night. Alternatively, repeat a peaceful visual exercise, such as visualizing trees waving in the breeze. You ca even use the old trick of counting sheep. If these exercises produce no immediate effect, persevere with them. After several nights the unconscious will begin to get the message.

Don’t worry about the amount you are sleeping – in the end, our bodies make sure we get all the sleep we need. Worrying or annoyance because you can’t sleep is a guarantee of wakefulness.

Taken from Fontana, D (1997), “Teach yourself to dream.”

Fog of War

2005-02-23T00:51:00.000+01:00

There are 11 lessons from the life of Robert McNamara which were explained in the Fog of War. Fog of War itself means that the war is so complex, it’s beyond the ability of human’s mind to understand it.

The lessons are:

1. Empathize with your enemy
2. Rationality will not save us
3. There is something beyond one self
4. Maximize efficiency
5. Proportionality should be the guideline in the war
6. Get the data.
7. Belief and seeing are both often wrong
8. Be prepared to reexamine your reasoning
9. In order to do good you may have to engage with the evil
10. Never say never, and also never answer the question that is asked but answer it the way you wished to be asked
11. You can’t change human nature

During these lessons, McNamara describes each of them and how they connect to past United States foreign policies in World War II, the Cuban Missile Crisis and how we got mired into Vietnam. From a historical point of view I was fascinated. This should be shown by each history teacher to high school students while using the accompanying study guide: http://www.choices.edu/fogofwar/ This was a splendid opportunity to hear a first hand account of how close we came to starting a nuclear war and how close the other side came to launching nuclear missiles at us.

There is a definite anti-war feeling to the movie, which at first glance is odd considering McNamara was in charge of many wartime activities for this country. This seems to be a way for him to make peace with himself and the world by speaking out against that most destructive of human activities - the destruction of ourselves. It also serves as a warning because there are so many variables in war that we can not foresee what could happen any time we engage in it. Military leaders make mistakes. Political leaders are backed into corners of their own making. And those corners and mistakes bring us ever closer to the use of those nuclear weapons that would destroy entire societies, not just military targets.

The disappointing part came in the last chapter and the epilogue. I kept expecting to hear a mea culpa from McNamara but only received an "I was just following orders" kind of ending. This was clearly on the mind of the audience as well. During the entire film and especially at the end there were many patrons who spoke back to the screen, and not entirely in a positive way. There was, however an outburst of applause when McNamara tied the past mistakes we (the United States) have made to the current poor state of affairs we find ourselves in overseas in the Middle East and Afghanistan.

Fog of War is well photographed, with good graphics and moves along at a quick enough pace that you will never be bored or feel lectured to. It is more like a conversation with an important United States statesman who was there.

MY happy day... V Loves I

2005-02-22T02:08:00.000+01:00

After trying several hours to change my blog’s skin, with a lot of designs, I decided to go back to my minimalist design. It’s easier and also simple. I gave up to put some links in the template and also to put my photo there, because it’s just too difficult for me. I hate HTML Language. I’m so bad at it.

The happy part is today is my first anniversary with Ian. Finally, we celebrated our first year together, eating in Italian restaurant. I am the happiest girl in the world. Hihihihi…

I hope we can do that next year too, more romantic candle light dinners… and I really have to take some pictures also, because I forgot to take some pictures with him today. Too bad.

Time for me to sleep now, I got a very bad morning today so I need a long sleep today.

Ciao…au revoir…..

Ps. I love my mom very much, I am so sorry for being so harsh today.

Week 3 = 15 Feb - 20 Feb 2005

2005-02-20T22:18:00.000+01:00

This week, not too much things happened really.

- I realized that some of my assignments’ deadlines are going to be due next 2 weeks and I haven’t done shit
- I cooked my own Javanese fried rice, which I had dreamt for 6 months, and it tasted perfect
- I can cook better now, my boyfriend told me that I got the talent, ^^
- I made some contacts to my Indonesian’s friends, I miss them so much and I feel grateful because they will always be there for me
- Still hasn’t made any best friend yet (except Ian), it’s not that easy though but I am optimist that I will make friend here someday.
- I am getting fatter and fatter, because of my cooking habits; I can’t resist the temptation to eat my food.

That’s it for today.

Last night I dreamt about

Last night I dreamt about me, Ian and my family in Indonesia, we spent the time together. Then I woke up because it was not a good dream, because everything went so scary and my dad always shows his angry face every time I introduce my boyfriend to him. Then, the setting changed to Southampton, Ian’s room. Anggun visited us (maybe it is because this Monday is her birhtday, so it reminds me, by the way miss her so much). My little brother also there and also my grandpa appeared. Then we moved to the hospital, apparently my family were here because my grandpa had his body check up. He had a very bad injury in his leg in the dream and the doctor concluded that his brain had a cancer and the nerve was connecting to the leg, that was why, made his leg hurts. It was quite scary…

So basically, my mind changed the setting of a family gathering. We were sad about my grandpa’s news and suddenly Marco (my little brother disappeared) then My mom ask my servant where he was, they told her that Marco has join some kind of maniac organization which called “Minammax”. Quite strange though.

Then I woke up. It is because I miss my family a lot so that I dreamt about them and also about my grandpa, well I always concern about his prostate’s problem, so basically he appeared in my dream. It was a nightmare…

My new habit

2005-02-17T14:59:00.000+01:00

In the class today, I remember Tim told us about one interesting habit, which is Googling name alias Searching people’s name in the search engine and find out how popular they are in the www.google.com.

Sometimes I do that also, especially when I met people and they are really well known or maybe just have a very arrogant attitude.

Anyway, it’s just a hobby.

Mantan - Mantan Tercintaaa

2005-02-17T01:34:00.000+01:00

It’s time to reveal my ex- boyfriends, I just want to write something about them so that I can remember everyone, I have been dating with in my life. The amount of boyfriends are quite much for Indonesian girl as sweet as me though. but one thing for sure, it takes sometime to find the love of your life.

First crust, I met a western boy (I don’t know where he does originally from) in Singapore, apparently I was 13 and he was 16. We met in a homestay in Singapore, and I dated him for 2 weeks, because I got to go home, and we just lost contact. Actually I forgot his face already, but I remember his name, it’s G.

Anyway, let me move on to the second one. He was very old for me I guess he was about 18 when I was 13, It’s still the same year since I broke up with my first love. It only last for 1 month, he was not good looking and not that charming either (btw, he looks like a rabbit). When I was a teenager in the puberty phase, I just wanted to try something new, how relationship really was, but it didn’t give me any good impression because we only talked on the telephone, never went out for dinner anything, again, I was way too young for dating.

The third boyfriend was a friend of my cousin in the school. When Back Street Boys was still on the radio day and night, he was my dream boyfriend. OMG, he was as handsome as Nick Carter and all the girls at school used to scream at him, when he passed through. Hahahaha… so basically, I tried to tell him or let people tell him that I really like him and then TARAAA.. he said, “ Would you be my girlfriend, Vicky?”. Of course I said yes. Then it lasted for 6 months. All the boredom and the fights started haunting us every day, it turned up to be a nightmare. Then I said please give me more time and space, and then I started talking about my parents who really forbid me to have a relationships because I was still 14.

Furthermore, I dated again, Uh…I can’t remember them in order now, but I know that I moved out from my granny’s house and dated my neighbor from my new neighborhood, he was quite handsome and very cool indeed, always passed my house with his huge motorbike and his racer style hahaa…but still I didn’t really fancy him, I didn’t think we really date actually. Maybe the relationship was just my imagination.

Next one was the cutest one ever. He was my friend’s cousin; he looked like the boy who played in the “Home Alone”, very cute one indeed. But then he found out from his friend that I wasn’t as cute as he thought because I am type of naughty girl like to try something new and suddenly without any explanation, he told me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore. The first broken heart I got, but I realized he was just to sissy to me... ^^

And then I dated a boy who has a same name with me, we had this long distance relationship for 6 months. It didn’t really work out because it’s only from MIRC, even if he arranged to meet me every 2 months, still I got very depressed with our relation.

After that, it was my beloved friend turn. We were together for like 6 months, but then we realized that we better be friends because we couldn’t be ourselves when we were together, everything was vague and we just couldn’t be as usual as before.

Then I met this Bima spoiled brad boy, we were together for like 1 year and 3 months, it’s the longest one ^^. In the early of our relationship I didn’t really like him, he was too arrogant, too bossy and too too, well I hated him before. But then I learned to know him, learn about him and I realized he wasn’t that bad. Until then he left me without saying anything. But then, he told me, it was because I planned to go to the Netherlands for studying and he didn’t believe in long distance relationship. Well, ok. That was fair enough, but I did wish him to tell me when I was in the dark, when everything seemed to be fine and he suddenly disappeared (Mud Head!).

Wuhuu… I’m getting there. The last ex boyfriend before I met the love of my life is a very nice looking boy, extremely intelligent but somehow I felt he was too intelligent because the way he thinks, it’s all nonsense. Well anyway, since I was going to Holland and he was planning to continue his study to Swiss, We started dating each other and continued until we didn’t get well because of the long distance relationship. It feels like when you are in the desert with no drinks and food, then your body become dehydrating. You start hallucinating and then suddenly collapse. That’s how our relationship went. It was very dramatic and adventurous but then we just lost in the middle of no where.

Then I dated my baby…he is very cute and I love him so. Next week is our first year anniversary. Hope I can be with him forever, and ever and ever.

An open letter for Bob Marley

2005-02-12T01:46:00.000+01:00

Dear Bob Marley,

First of all, I would like to say thank you on behalf of my generation from all over the world, because you had inspired us through your music and your vision, which represented the freedom of expressing thoughts and embodies the profound wisdom. Along with the Wailers, you succeed to get an access to the best recording facilities and you were treated in much the same way as rock band were treated in the 70s, while the reggae band used to sold only on singles and some cheap albums. Somehow you succeed performed and presented the street culture of Jamaica with reggae music to all audience in the various countries. From time to time the amount of rastafarism’ followers become wider than before.

I admit that you are a legend; your charisma will always live in our heart, along with your vision of “One Love and One World” from your beliefs of Rastafari ideology, you had opened our eyes so that people would live in peace and freedom without any war and racism. Unfortunately, I must say, this ideology doesn’t really apply well in this 21st Century, especially with the War of Iraq, where people killing each other and Moslem people become the scapegoat. It is such a pity really, why people can just live next to each other with peace and smile just as what you reflected in most of the songs.

Furthermore, I also admire your courage through your lyrics to legalize marijuana. With the reggae tune that becomes the cannabis smoker’s hymn, you campaigned a lot about ganja. For instance; the way you wrote your songs in your album “Kaya” saying that you believed Ganja would bring togetherness, happiness, humanity and peace, had made people changed their point of view about Ganja. Then, when it became legalized in the Netherlands; people worshiped you because they know if it wasn’t you who shared your thoughts with the world about Ganja, people wouldn’t had the courage to make the marijuana legalization happened

Thank you very much for your aspiration. Your music and philosophy will always live in my heart.

Kind regards,

Vicky Marcia

(Nb. comments and feedbacks are appreciated. Therefore, please correct my grammar mistakes and so on. )

Tonight....

2005-02-12T01:12:00.000+01:00

When it’s time to go to bed, I usually imagine some things that I impossibly could have. Such as:

- I want to meet a bunch of people, spend tonight together. They have to be care and know me well. We would spend our night drinking, dancing and get wasted. Here, in Southampton. (Just like what we did before in Brussels, miss you guys.)

- I need beer and tequila sunrise.

- I need my servant from Indonesia to stay here with me, so she can hover my room, go shopping for me and cook me dinner everyday.

- I need someone to be with me tonight, just come over and talk to me. Apparently my boo is ill so he can’t spend the night with me. Too bad…

- I need a pet, dog preferred.

- I need a part time job in the office here in England, I have been working now in a small cafe near my hall, but the owner only gives me 4 hours a week, starts from 8 in the morning until 12 in the afternoon, it’s so frustrating, I have to wake up early. Well, at least I work and I can't complain. it's better to do something than waste my time day dreaming.

- I need a long enough sleep tonight, but I felt I miss something which affect my brain. I can’t rest my mind and I can't stop thinking. I don’t know why…

- I need to sleep now… and dreaming about nice place, nice looking boys, and nice food.

Good night …. huah... I am ok now, at least I wrote something down :)

Stop whining, it's just another day in Southampton

2005-02-09T01:45:00.000+01:00

People would celebrate the Chinese New Year in 10 minutes… it’s the year of rooster and it’s my baby’s year. While people are counting down...I am sitting here alone in front of my comp, got nothing to do except writing my blog. ^^ it's ok... I like it here in my room....

Excited??? Of course…. I want to celebrate it, but seriously I got no other Indonesian friends here. Even if there was a Chinese girl asking if I want to celebrate with other Chinese people…. But I don’t feel like it, because it is going to be awkward for sure. They would all speak Chinese and what I hear is all the ching chong China man walkie talkie. So honestly, even if I have Chinese blood and face, I can’t speak Chinese, I don’t have Chinese name and I don’t really fancy all the Chinese ritual except celebrating Chinese New Year.

Why?? Basically celebrating the Chinese New Year for me is about the little money that we get. You get the red envelop with money in it, from your relatives and family who are old enough or married. So, it’s a very nice celebration.

That’s why I really miss my life in Indonesia today; our family has oriental blood so that even if we don’t have our Chinese’s name and follow the culture, we never forget to celebrate this New Year with no any other strange and complicated rituals. In this time, I and my family always visit my dad oldest sister’s house, greet everyone in the family, mess around with all my little nieces, eat Ambonese food and also the most important part, receive some red envelops with a smiling face and then continued to visit my grandma from my mom’s family, again we never forget to eat some Chinese food before we leave and the red envelops.

So it’s always a never ending celebration every year, Which Chinese people say to enhance the togetherness and belongingness… I must admit it’s also true, by the end of the day the feeling that I get when everything over is happiness. Usually from my experience, Chinese New Year celebration is better than The New Year eve, because I can see all my family gathering in a very big family and everybody seems to be relax.

In here, I really want to celebrate it, if I were in Amsterdam; I would definitely eat dim sum with Tataaaaa, but too bad.... In Southamptoooon, I barely see any Chinese restaurants, so I told my self, “Just forget the Dim Sum, please me with some pancakes… at least feb 8th is the Pancake national day in UK.”

Hihihihi…..

To whom who have the chance to celebrate it…
URGHHH! I really envy you guys.
Don’t forget share me some small money.

I really need money now!!

Not Forget to mention also..

Miss my siao tjie, Rainbow and Maarten Doth.. I will see you soon guys... XOXO

What Vicky usually dreams

2005-02-09T01:18:00.000+01:00

For me…

What I dream is what I can not get and achieve
Usually something that I really want but I kept telling myself that it is impossible.
For instance:

Just like when I arrived here in Southampton, I thought I would join the advertising class, but then I realized all the exchange students had been put in the public relations course. I was thinking to request and ask to the coordinator, if she could possibly let me join the Advertising course, but I know it’s going to be a hard work for her and for me. so yeah, I told my self, Fuck it. but I still mad to my tutor in INHOLLAND, because he told me that I could choose whatever course that I want here as long as it's relevant to Communication.

So that I remember I was dreaming, I went to this lady’s office and told her that I wanted to move to advertising course and she said that the course was no longer sustainable for the exchange students. Suddenly, I woke up and realized that my mind just killed my courage to go and ask her, well, it's a pity, I really want to study advertising here, but I know it's impossible, so I just keep it low until now.

(-__-..)

Furthermore, I used to dream about something that passes through my mind once in the middle of the day, then I would forget about it straight away and finally it comes to my dream.

For instance:

Someone who used to be my friends, when I unconsciously think about them after seeing some photos which remind me of their face and nice experiences that we got or when their face just split through to my mind and then I forget about them right away, I would surely meet them again in my dream mixing with other favorite things of mine that usually come along in my dream. I love this kind of dream, it gives so the nice feeling and remind you that you have to maintain the friendship so that you can meet them in the real life... ^^

Keeping a journal...starts today.... :)

2005-02-04T21:13:00.000+01:00

It has been 10 days since I moved to Southampton. It’s been great.

First feeling occurred

I was so relieve that I have done everything that kept me busy, insomnia, and paranoia in Amsterdam, which are deadlines, packing, visa, saying good bye to my friends and people in my part time jobs. Those things really made me nuts.

Now I am here I feel glad, I can smile, relax, and enjoy the new life, new friends, new habits (I cook a lot now ^^) and the most important part new study time table (deadlines are ridiculously far from my sight).

Another thing is I leaved my house in Meelbeskamp, yipii!!! I moved in to student accommodation which has been my dream since I moved out from Uilenstede.

Living in a house which was very expensive and all the bills excluded is killing me softly but surely, I had to pay all the bills that drain my bank account every month, it feels like a never ending torture.

Seriously, I regret moving out from Uilenstede (student accommodation in Holland). That’s why student accommodation is the best. In here, even if the room is extremely expensive, everything is included and the most important part is cozy, I got my own space and my own toilet (^^ before I had to share with 4 nasty boys), I don’t have to worry about my bills and you walk everywhere because everything is so nearby. That’s Brilliant!!

Moreover, the institute is different than INHOLLAND, everything is more organized, the teachers are very nice and most of them are women and the system is semester so most of the deadlines are in May and I don’t have to be worried as before in INHOLLAND.

I really enjoy my stay here and I hope I can adapt myself here…

...A story about Marah, Dendam and Geram...

2005-01-24T01:40:00.000+01:00

He started shouting at Marah, when Marah said no to break her boyfriend.
He told Marah that he would kill Marah and Dendam if Marha didn’t leave Dendam.
He kept swearing that he had never felt like to this to a girl, his body and mind always wants Marah to be with him day and night.
He wants Marah alive or death.
He doesn’t care as long as he owns Marah.
His own ego just keeps pushing him to keep Marah in his hands.
But he knows it is impossible.
His name is Geram…

I love My GrandPa too

2005-01-24T01:08:00.000+01:00

For those people who loves his grandpa as well...

He is old enough to stop working and start enjoying his new house life.
Until now he is still working in his old textile shop in the market.

He never complained and never said “No” when his grandchild messing around in his house.

Once, my mom told me he used to be a tough father back in the 70s.
But I guess he became softer after he met me.

He never hugs or kisses me like what every grandpa does in the television.

But I know deep down in his heart, he loves me very much.

I know and I understand him very well.

I learned a lot of things from him, he always….

does everything that he can do before it is too late,

never leaves all the customs and traditions in the family,

always keeps list of what he has planned,

saves some money in the bank,

always be there for everybody he loves,

never makes people around him worried,

always be careful and well planned with everything that he does,

and the last thing is…

always thinks positive and he really knows how to laugh….

I MISS HIM….

I'm waiting for my time to go

2005-01-23T23:41:00.000+01:00

Huah…it is now time to leave Diemen….

First of all, I felt excited!! Of course…new life…new friends… new course…everything is new…. It feels like…wuhuuuhuuu…..Time to change my life….

Seriously I hate to settle down in one condition …I always like to hang around…sniffing other environment, flaming my adventurous desire which will give me more experiences. But then I realize that, everything could never be as simple as I want it to be. It was way too complicated for my brain and my body to cope with. I got the most stressing moment in my life, since I planned to go to England, arranging every single small thing by my self, I became paranoid and insomnia (It feels like HELL). Even if I tried to chill with all the chill dingetje I got from Amsterdam, I kept feeling stress and kept banging my head on the wall…

BANG..BANG..BANG…

Suddenly I realized…I wouldn’t change anything if kept banging my head…poor head Vicky….!! Poor Head..!!
I called my mom everyday… crying and sobbing everyday…hoping that I can just be in England without doing all the complicated stuff that make my head hurt like crazy…

But everything has now well prepared… all my plans have been done and I am ready to meet Southampton… where my baby is waiting for me…. Ready or not

HERE I COME….

I just can't fake myself

2004-12-22T23:58:00.002+01:00

When you see people trying to sell their goodies, you always see them so persuasive and aggressive telling customer how good and cheap their bargain is.
However, this situation doesn’t really reveal to me. I didn’t have the talent on sales and on sucking people’s ass attitude, which sometimes bring me some disadvantage and advantage for my business life.

Well, the advantage I get is, I can be myself, always make sure that people know what they buy from me and they know exactly that it’s worth amount of money to pay for.

But the disadvantages is, sometimes I become way too honest telling every little thing whether good or bad situations that can possible encounter during the use of the products, until the person doesn’t even know why they have to buy the product. Even me, myself realize how stupid I am and then start thinking my reason selling the products…

I really want to try faking myself, try to pretend that all my products are cool enough to be purchased, However, It just too fuckin difficult for me…

I guess I need more sessions in the international marketing class….

One sad story..bout me and my work today...

2004-12-07T01:22:00.000+01:00

Today..I felt so bad..because

My boss: Heyaa Vicky..These days you work less hah!! not much like before..!!

Vicky: OH yes sir, You want me to work more?? (^^) (that was my only hope!!)

BOss: Ayaaa..no wah...I've been thinking..maybe if you can find a better job...you better leave the Toko..because you don't get much money like before..!!

VIcky: HAH!!!! WTF!! ni malikebizzz!!! No way .. I love the toko..doesn't really matter if I am working less..!! SO I can concentrate more on my study...Then I started crying..sobbing HIKS..Hiksss..in front of him and some customers...

( I think, he wants me to leave because there are too many people working there...But, that's not fair!!noo..I don't want to resign my job)

Boss: Oh yooo Sorry lah..I only concern about you.it's good then you want to work here always even we don't give you enough hours to work...We like you also..Don't get me wrong..!!

Vicky: (still Sobbing!!) OK..!!!

My favourite ...

2004-12-02T01:42:00.000+01:00

I really want/ love/ desire/ admire/ adore/fan ....

- My papa, mama, adek2, mak pung

- Ianku tercinta tersayang

- Puppies and Dogs... (anykind of dogs) four foots only please!

- New VW beetle

- Mini Cooper, the red one!!

- Little Babies

- IMac (Apple.. :P)

- Nasi Goreng anykind

- Tami Cap cay

- Tipi Jabrik (just met the imitation one..!! but he was too arrogant, Jadi ga PD)

- All my great teachers (Nik, Melvin -even he can't teach properly, he is so sweet, and Thijs)

- Books (history)

- Graphic novel

- Travelling to Thailand, EU countries

- Sushi -- I don't have any sushi set :'(

- Light house family

- Horse - I wanted to be a jockey before...

- Precious moment dolls

- Window shopping (allen kijken kijken niet kopen)

- I like big butt and I can not lie...

To be continued

Me Myself and My Blog

2004-12-02T01:29:00.000+01:00

GABISA TIDUR....SEPERTI BIASA....setelah berdoa..sayapun tidak bisa angop..karena biasa nya..kalo abis ngomong amin..harus angop trus kedip kedip mata sedikit trus bobok...itu tandanya Tuhan mendengarkan..ahaahahaa..well that's just my self concept..which always works when I pray since I was 7...however...today... ga bisa Angop..ga tau kenapa..mungkin terlalu banyak request...ehehhehehehee...Ya...gapapa lah....

Trus trus...

I feel myself as a mean person..stereotyping and bullying other people...but still...the fact has to be opened in front of my screen...^^! (Yeah!!You go Mr. Moore). Miss my poeps as always...Richi, Daisy, Dylon and Toto...the most precious living things I have ever had in my life....My Precious!!!! Miss my Mak Pung as always...miss my friends as always...miss my baby as always...miss every living things that has walked away from my sight... or maybe I just walked away from them...Somehow, I miss them so much...Well of course..now I love being surrounded by nice and loving people in Holland..but still..Miss some part of my life...

Hongkie ChiX part TwO...The Tragedy

2004-11-27T01:36:00.000+01:00

hmm....B.S pake bahasa inggris itu susah..ehehehehe...
ya uds... Let's move on...

hmm ... hongkieCiX itu biasa nya agak O'on.. bayangkan saja blond and bloon..

Anyway, In this 21st century, they still live in the ancient era, where they think that money can buy love. They don't have to study hard and work hard as long as they can find a rich wealthy man/ uncle/ grandpa/ boys. No matter how old or how ugly..yang penting Duit nya boow!! hehehee...CEWe Matre Emang dimana mana...GET A LIFE!! Please!! Have you heard about Woman Emancipation..If No? What about Kartini then? What about PPKN and all the history shit that was thaught to you way before?

One interesting story from my friends' experience.

One pretty girl has a fiancé who is a DJ but Chinese people see DJ as a non profit and no future job, even if the DJ’s parent has a very big Gold store, but still. NOT allowed to marry him!! as a girl who always obey her parents, she left the guy. Then the mother introduced the girl to one wealthy man. He has a share in a famous Oxygen factory in the town and his parents is the most profitable and biggest textile agent in Surabaya. (The guy is Hongkie also). They dated and married the next five months. Well, actually, they married because of the girl got pregnant and I don’t know why, but according to my friend, the girl didn’t even love the guy, she is still in love with her ex fiancé and feels so unhappy with her marriage. Everything seems so fake. However, the story still continued the next one year, the guy was found out died because of overdoses in a famous pubs in town. He was very young. We conclude that this couple didn’t really love each other and the guy finally found out a very bad solution to escape from the life. well somehow, too pathetic...

Because of the culture, Hongkie ChiX loves money so much; somehow, they don’t really see what the impact is. They might become very happy with it… but money doesn’t guarantee anything. Can money buy love? I guess not… Why Married for money, but then you become a widow for the rest of your life..... unless, you married again for money...what is the differences then between HongkieChiX and Bitch..?

My other b.s bout Hongkie ChiX pasar atum

2004-11-26T23:14:00.000+01:00

Now, let’s move on to Hongkie Girls.

Actually Hongkie Wannabes no matter boys or girls have no identity. They want to look as fake as possible, sorry I mean "analogous" with all the peeps inside of the society so that they achieve the same level and it boost their self esteem, again it makes them even look so similar to each other from back side ^^, but the differences will appear when you see the front part of them. It’s like “Waduh and Wadah!” First impression from the back side…(Waduuh gilaaa cakep ya!!) then we said “Wadah, kok metu Untu ne..!!” Man, so disappointing!

I used to live in this society as well and adopted some of the cultures. I envy them because they are so well groomed, so posh and look so fucking wealthy. They wear the best fashion from Pasar Atum, Singapore, and Jakarta. It’s obvious to see them as a walking haute couture (Mango addicts as usual), on the other hands, sometimes they become mode victim (kormod). HEHE..!! But I realized that everybody has to be happy for being themselves because every single people are unique. Bellow, some explanations about Hongkie girls that you can’t see from other unique girls

- Hongkie girls’ hair is usually straight perm (Imagine Sadako from The Ring).

I used to do this as well but Thanks god! my hair is so hard and it refused to be as straight as Hongkie girls’.

- They are always afraid of the Indonesian sun (just imagine Vampire) and try to cover their skin with the heaviest sun block ever made, umbrella, their bags, etc.

I loved my skin color; it’s dark. I wasn’t really confident with it before and tried some whitening cream still it didn’t work. I realized how stupid I was and suddenly I found out that Dark is beautiful.

- They purchase all types of LV (fake or original) and lift the bag as high as possible when they’re walking at the mall, street, party, everywhere since they want to show off and won’t let anybody scratch it.

Actually I love bags also, but these girls... I feel like their addictions will soon beat the Japanese's record as LV's lovers.

to be continued...

Living in a circle

2004-11-26T02:08:00.000+01:00

It really amazed me, how different people have different meanings about circle, circle is a nonverbally symbol and ambiguous.

1. Indonesian people might say circle means the birth control.
2. Chinese people interpret it as the wheel of life what makes life challenging.
3. Dutch people think that they can come in and it is safe to bring something into the transportation.
4. It is a peer to peer distributed file storage built by python.
5. It is a 360 degree image with no angle.

It’s the power of naming and human’s ability to create language to reflect their experiences and self concept. When you are talking, always try to describe all the explanation as clear as possible especially to your friends from different backgrounds, they will appreciate it, if they understand what you are telling them.

...She is in love...

2004-11-26T01:37:00.000+01:00

When someone likes someone.. It’s sucks, when they didn’t even recognize it. Me myself, I would never ever hit on boys if they didn’t even look at me. But, I will attack them straight away if they seem interested in me (lol).

Well, for other people (typical Asian, but not you Rainbow!!) who has some trouble expressing their words and boy seems doesn’t even see it, girls would probably give abstract signs à makes cakes and cendol for him, or just call him all the time but then, last warning was sent and they got stuck again, they didn’t even dare to say I like you!! They would start saying “Oh God!! He is a dog!!” and just ran away with their broken heart.

The other type of girls is Rainbow, Sorry I mean Aggressive girl. Which will always feels confident and anxious to defeat every single man who they think is cute, for example; our teacher and our tutor. Well, ok they are extremely cute!!! (LOL) but thinking about blackmailing our tutors with the entire love letters would be an absolutely mad idea…

Well, it’s good to know how to control ourselves and how to be a bit wild sometimes but for me just keep it in the between.

Stereotyping

2004-11-15T22:10:00.000+01:00

About Hongkie Pasar Atum…

As a communication student, Yihhaaa!!! We ought to study about cross culture communication. I read a book about Chav! A user’s guide to New Britain’s ruling class. Therefore I just brainstormed a little and find something from my culture and background.

Stereotyping means mentally placing people in categories and it is important to realize that culture is relative. There are more different stereotypes of other culture that we can talk and laugh about so it’s not only about hongkie Pasar Atum anyway, please don’t get me wrong there are others, for instance; Indo yaya à Netherlander born Indo, Cino yaya à Hollander or Amsterdamer born Chinesse, ABC à American Born Chinese and many more. So Hongkie Pasar Atum is just one piece of cultures that I know and understand truly madly deeply because I used to live in this part of society and somehow I hate them for their lack of identity, there might be people who feel offended about my previous post because they feel they are part of it (Haha…) but still please don’t take it too serious and again please don’t hate me because I’m right. ^^

However, I want to add some new stuff to complete my research about Hongkie Pasar Atum. See how serious I am!! Because learning other culture can expand your horizon my friend…!!

Let’s start with their weekend…

Hongkie wannabes from 15 - 30 always go to JJ’s (Java Jimmy’s Irish Pub) and listen to the same old songs the Band plays. Btw, it’s always the same old band. Dude..!! Never change!!! These peeps were so not cool…!!

According to my friend… Hopeless and moneyless Hongkie would dance tipsily in the dancehall all night long holding their only beer and cigarettes hoping they would hit on girls who are still underage to go to a pub (14 – 16).

According to my other friends… Rich and ugly Hongkie would always accompany by pretty, cute, sexy, hot and spicy Hongkie girls, who are desperately cleaning all these poor guys' bank account. They would order all the liqueurs, beers, and wine, everything that they can get from JJ’s storage to show off. Please imagine the old Hong Kong Movie who got the Mafia and the bitches around in one club and pretend that they own the club and please imagine all the video clips from Nelly, Snop Dog, who ever!! as long as they rap... Ha Ha…get a life!! Now it’s time for terrorism why don’t you guys start dress like Osama!!

Anyway…let’s move on to friendship…

In this part, I can’t really complain much about Hongkie…because they have a high solidarity with their friends and do please consider that they worship the entire Hong Kong movies which are about Mafia, Meteor Garden, God of Gambler and many more.

So yeah….hell yeah…they will fight for their friends, grab all the things from the ground (stones, wood, shoes, etc) die for their friends without really know what was the real problem. It could be simple; Milo’s girlfriend has been kissed by Lung-Lung, Milo is from X side but Lung-Lung is from Y side. Instead of break the girl up, Milo and friends insist to terror the Y side and they start punching each other.

See how stupid Hongkie is???

One more thing....

Mobile Phones – they would always change their phones to the newest and the biggest one. The newer you get the higher caste you are. The bigger you got, people can see it more cos Hongkie doesn’t bring any bag and they always bring their mobile on their hands ALWAYS!!! Everywhere so people can easily rob them. But beware… Even if it’s the newest and it’s very very High Tech, mostly Hongkie can only operate Games, Camera, Address book, and SMS… That’s it, no more other things…. Poor them…

Hayooo ok ok.. Enough bullshits…. My friend…enjoy it…if you want to know more about Hongkie just ask me…I’ll explain later on…. Ciaaooo…

Ciri-ciri Hongkie Pasar Atum

2004-11-14T17:41:00.000+01:00

Hongkie Wannabes usually worship F4. Do you know Meteor garden? Who think they are cool but actually they act like gay. These people are so proud of themselves and they care a lot about their appearance and their cars.

Let's start from:
* Rambut--> gondrong/ cepak,belah tengah, di-ion(lurus rus rus sampe rusak), di-semir pirang mbulak/ merah kecoklat coklatan.

*Face --> mata sipit, idung pesek, sok unik tapi terlalu umum di Pasar atum.

* Body --> rajin ke tempat Fitness yang namanya Atlas, but still (-__-' ) no improvement at all, krn mereka terlalu sibuk melototin nonik nonik berbadan sintal latian aerobik.

* Dandanan
Baju --> Hem ketat ala F4 yang memperlihatkan bodi gendut serta pentil, jika anda sering jalan jalan ke utrechtsestraat maka anda akan melihat saudara jauh mereka. Bayangkan jika AC di Tunjungan plaza mati...maka pemandangan akan semakin jelas.

Celana --> as usuall, they wear the cutbyaaar pants ala 80s.

sepatu --> sandal nya yongky komaladi yang super Homooo dan sepatu vantofel super klotak klotak. semakin kelotak-kelotak maka mereka akan semakin bangga.

Hobby

Music --> lagu lagu mandarin ala F4, pop music, house music, trance, Jpop yang didengerin keras keras di dalam mobil kayak orang kopok.

Mobil --> Hongkie sangat creative dengan mobil koleksinya, dan mereka sangat bangga jika mereka bisa memodif dr mobil yang super minimalis jadi super kinclong. contoh, Mobil Timor dibikin mirip jadi mercy. you might say i must be outta my mind, but believe me they did it to their car. Dipasang velg ber ring 21 kinclong abis!!! di kasih bemper, audionya yang super gede buat bikin diskotek di dalem, trus dikasih wing dibokong mobil,dll. pokoknya bener bener Noraaak....!!!!

To be continued....

lekatompessy--cool name !!!

2004-11-14T00:32:00.000+01:00

yeah...finally.....
setelah....punya 3 blog sebelum nya dan mesti ilang gara gara gw lupa password....
semoga yang ini tahan lebih lama...
nama lengkapku Vicky Marcia Lekatompessy...
buat yang perna liat vicky dan tau nama lengkap ku...
pasti nebak2 vicky ini orang apa ( I am chinesse Indonesian mix with other bloods(bali, jawa, thailand)but i got no ambonesse blood :( too bad)...soalnya bener bener...ga jelas banget..nama nya ambon..tapi ga keliatan kayak ambon....but I am proud of being one of the Lekatompessy..for sure !!!!
heheheehehehehehehehe
lekatompessy Rocks...